How to Talk About College With Your Family
For many students, talking about college with family can be one of the most challenging parts of the college search. You might feel pressure to have answers you don’t have yet—or worry that your goals won’t line up with what your family expects.
While this is hard, these conversations are a necessary part of college planning. They help shape where you apply, what’s realistic, and how confident you feel moving forward. Here’s a practical way to approach talking about college with your family.
Start by Explaining Where You Are
You don’t need to have everything figured out to start the conversation. In fact, most students don’t.
It helps to clearly say:
What stage of the process you’re in (just exploring, researching, applying)
What you’re trying to learn or decide
What kind of input or support you’re looking for
What feels overwhelming or uncertain right now
This lets your family know this is a planning conversation, not a final decision.
Use this Resource: Not sure where you should be in the process right now? Check out our College Planning Timeline. This can be helpful to look at together as you’re going through this process.
Talk About Your Goals Before Naming Colleges
Jumping straight into specific college names can lead to strong reactions. We recommend starting with your goals instead.
Share things like:
What you might want to study or explore
The type of academic environment where you think you’d do well
What you hope college helps you do after graduation
When you and your family get on the same page about your goals, conversations about specific colleges tend to be more productive.
Be Honest About Cost—and Talk About It Early
Cost is one of the biggest challenges students face when talking about college. Instead of focusing on tuition prices alone, you can use net price calculators to estimate the real cost for your family, learn about financial aid, and talk in ranges rather than exact numbers. You don’t need to solve finances in one conversation. Starting early helps keep options realistic.
Use this Resource: There’s so much to consider when talking about cost. Read and share our article, Calculating College Costs, with your family to make sure you fully understand what the numbers mean.
Learn Together
Many students feel like they’re expected to explain the entire college process to their family—even when they’re still learning. That’s a normal feeling.
As you’re chatting with your family, write down questions and research answers together. Just make sure that you’re using trusted college-planning resources and are not relying on hearsay or other sources that may be biased or inaccurate.
Remember, talking about college isn’t a one-time event. Your interests, options, and plans will likely change as you learn more. Checking in with your family over time is normal, and often leads to better decisions.
Get Support When You Need It
Admissions counselors, school counselors, and community-based organizations are there to help students and families navigate college planning.
And, don’t forget about us! The Coalition for College offers free guidance (like this!), events, and other tools to support you as you talk through the college process with your family.
Our Resources:
